Unrighteous anger: It felt like the holy spirit left me

Hey Beloved,

I hope you all are well and at peace at such a time as this. I know the message of peace contradicts everything going on the world right now, but only when we hold our peace does God move for us. Over and Over the Lord says, “Be still” (SEE: Zech 2:13, Psa 46:10-11, Exo 14:14, Habk 2:20).  Being still does not mean inactivity, it does not mean do nothing.  Being still is a heart posture. Let your heart be still, do not be outraged by unrighteous anger, do not let hate dwell in your heart. Being still means taking necessary actions to ensure justice is served, while still keeping your eyes on Jesus. When we take our eyes off Jesus, we fix our eyes on the problem, and it gets bigger, and bigger. When we keep our eyes on Jesus, however, we are keepin our eyes on the solution. 

NOW…to my story. 

Over the past 2 months I have been outraged by the injustice that has been going on around the world. It seemed like, for the first time, God popped the bubble I have been living in and said, “hey, WAKE UP!  This is the true state of the world.” This is the reality I have always lived in. Unfortunately, I either turned a blind eye or didn’t want to know. I wanted to remain ignorant of the evils of the world to protect myself and maintain the perfect circle of my bubble. That all changed when I witnessed the senseless murder of George Floyd; my bubble was popped.  I was terrified, angry, uncomfortable, and traumatized.  All these emotions came rushing at me at once, and after a while I began to feel hatred. I hated what they did to him, I hated the police, the system, and I can even say, even white people.  Without realizing it, the seed of hatred began to grow daily as I watered it by constantly being on social media, watching videos, and reading articles of all the detestable things White America has done to the black community.  To make matters worse, I justified my anger and hatred using the Word of God. I searched out scriptures that pertained to this matter. While the passages were relatable, I used it to fuel my hate and justify my unrighteous anger. The spirit behind it was totally off. 

Then one night while reflecting in my day in bed, I started to feel some sort of emptiness. Usually when I speak to the Holy Spirit, I would receive comfort, a word, or a message but this time, I got nothing. It was a weird experience, but shrugged it off and went to sleep. This continued to happen over the course of the next few days, and I started to worry a bit. For a second I thought it was the rapture, and the Holy Spirit went away.  I felt empty, uncomfortable, alone; like I was left to fend for myself.  The more I progressed, the weaker I became. I was easily offended, the sight of my co workers annoyed me (they’re all white by the way). So as you can see, I was in total chaos.

SO….. one day after work, my fiance and I were eating dinner and out of nowhere, I began to cry. I cried out my anger, I cried out my hatred, I cried out my frustration.  I can only imagine what my fiancé  was thinking… “is this chick OK?!”  Thankfully, my fiancé is so understanding.  He  asked me “what are you feeling right now?”, and the only response I could give him was “I’m just scared” and I poured my true feelings out to him.  In that moment, God showed me my heart posture. The reality was I was not abiding in him, I was not communicating with him. I allowed anger and hatred to be my motivation.  I completely missed the point. My focus was not on Christ. I was in a battle field, but I had the wrong weapon. I LOST! I WAS DEFEATED! 

BUT…….. I WAS NOT CONQUERED.. glory be to YAH!

Getting back on the right track meant asking for forgiveness, and allowing God to take control of my heart and my emotions. His will must be done. While everything that’s going on is still happening. I am reminded to fix my eyes on Jesus. Daniel (my Fiance) reminded me of the story of Peter and Jesus. In the 14th chapter of the gospel according to Matthew, Peter sees Jesus walking on water and calls out to him. He said, “Lord if it’s truly you, tell me to come to you on the water” (Vs 28). As Peter got off the boat and began to walk on water, he took his eyes of Jesus and began to sink. You see, he became fearful and was distracted by the wind and the raging waters, now realizing that the one whom which the winds obeyed was right in front of him.  I was so clouded by the “raging waters” (And police brutality) and the “winds” (my anger) that I couldn’t see Jesus in front of me. 

Another realization: I know that the Holy Spirit never left me. I was just expecting to hear from God through my rage and anger, it had to be justified somehow.  This reminded me of a passage in First Kings where God told the Prophet Elijah to wait for him on the mountain top. Before the Lord came, there were strong winds, earthquakes, and a fire. The Lord, however, was not in any of those. Finally, Elijah heard the Lord from a still small voice. (1 Kings 19 11-13).

My word to you today is, no matter what you see, feel, or hear, Fix your eyes on JESUS. Don’t stop being the voice of change and hope, Don’t stop fighting for justice. FIGHT with your eyes on YESHUA HaMashiach (the Anointed one).  These are trying times and it’s likely you’ll feel like I did. Here’s the good news: THAT’S OK! It’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be frustrated, it’s ok to cry and be angry.


Always remember, You are love, and you are loved.

Sincerly yours in Christ,


“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes” Psalm 37:7

Dear God, I don’t love you

Hey Beloved,

So before you freak out, let me explain! A few years ago, I realize I didn’t love God. I wasn’t experiencing the wondrous feelings others felt when they spoke about God, or moved to tears during worship.  Professing my love for Him sounded inauthentic and pretentious. I was done with pretending, so I wrote God a letter. (FYI: it took a lot for me to want to post this, but it is what it is!)

Dear God,

I don’t love you.

 I know that sounds horrible, and I am very sorry for saying it, but I have to be honest. I can not continue lying or pretending to feel something that I don’t. I’ve tried to love, I’ve told myself several times that I loved you. The truth is…I am exhausted! I am tired! Loving you is hard. I feel like I can’t be myself, I’m always pretending to be someone I’m not. You told me you would change me, I read in the Bible that when someone becomes a believer, they would be a new person. I am not a new person, I am the same person. The only difference is I feel guilty whenever I do the things I used to do. 

Why do I feel guilty? 

Why can’t you just change me completely?  Change my mind, my thoughts, my perception? If you do that, then I can be the person you want me to be. 

God, I feel like I am always chasing you?! What am I supposed to feel or am I supposed to feel anything? 

Where is the peace you promised? 

Where is the joy? I expected to feel as if I am on cloud nine! 

How do I learn how to love you? I want to love you, I desire you, but where do I start? I have so many questions, and I am afraid to ask them because people might think I’m unsaved. I see the way others talk about you, and I wonder what they feel inside. 

Do they feel butterflies?

I desire that feeling. God…I just don’t know. I read the bible, but I don’t feel a connection to you. Why do I feel like this? Does this mean I don’t belong to you? Am I not one of your children? Am I forcing my way to you? Why is my mind always conflicted? I feel as though I am always fighting with myself.

I am never at peace. 

Please don’t turn me away God. I want to go to heaven. But let me be honest again, I’ll be content with heaven if I don’t see you, as long as I am not suffering in hell, I’ll be content. I am afraid of hell. I feel so bad that, it feels like I am using you as a ticket to heaven. 

God, I’m so sorry. 

God, I don’t know if you hate me now. God, Please forgive me if I am sinning against you. I am always worried and cautious not make you angry. I don’t want my life to be ruined. I want to live a good life. I feel guilty all the time. God help me to love you. I mean to really love you.

Whew! okay!  So… yeah…

Fast forward three years later, and I am completely in a different space. Reading that letter now, made me realize that I actually loved God (through my desire, if I didn’t love him at all, there would be no desire what so ever), I just didn’t know how to express it while still being myself. Back then, I mimicked other people A LOT, I wanted to pray to God like someone else.  I wanted to have eloquent speech like others had when they spoke about God. I wanted to read my Bible 7 times a day. I forced myself to listen to Gospel, knowing that it was NOT really my jam at the time,

.  The only Gospel artist I really liked was Mali Music…but some question his place in the genre. I stopped watching my favorite shows on television, because as a good Christian I shouldn’t be into anything secular. I stopped cussing, I was at church all the time!! I ghosted on my friends, in the moment I thought, wow! Look at me doing all these cool things for God, I even began to look down on others who were not on board! I shoved the bible down people’s throat, and tried to convert everyone who disclaimed Jesus. My mindset was rigid. It was MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY! 

Thank God for God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit! in continuation… I still felt empty, I still felt guilt, I still felt shame, and I would just ask God why?  I gave up so much why do I still feel like this? I was fed up! That’s when I came across an article that said God does not get easily offended, or something like telling God how you feel.

So one day I was in church, and someone went in spirit (I wish there was another way I could explain “went in spirit”) but for now, just follow along. I was given a prophetic message and

God said: My daughter, why is your heart so far from me? Draw near to me, Get to know me!

This message broke my heart! I thought, God after all I’ve been doing for you?? How can I be far from you? I didn’t understand it then, but it’s clear to me now! I was caught up in the pretense! I started to believe my own lies! I felt my true nature would be hidden if I just did what God wanted, but if I could be honest, I wasn’t really doing it for GOD. I was doing it for people, I wanted people to see that I really changed, that I was a different person. I finally felt like I belonged, I was accepted! I was finally part of an in-crowd!

Christianity is more than fellowship, it’s more than doing the right things, or avoiding the wrong things. As a matter of fact, you will find yourself going back to your old way of living if you don’t fully allow God access to your life/heart. Here’s the big question: How do I allow God into my heart?  This question is so profound, and you wouldn’t believe the answer!  It’s….TRUST! Proverbs 3:5-6 states, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.”

Remember, it is not you who chose yourself to belong to Christ. Christ chose you first! He loved you first. He knew you even before you were born, and he ordained you a prophet to the nations! Do not attempt to take the position of the Holy Spirit in your life. The convictions of the Holy Spirit leads to a permanent change of behavior, first from the inside and then the outside. Then and only then, can you experience a life of total freedom in Christ!

One last nugget: the process is lifelong! 

We must strive everyday to resemble Christ. Yes we may fail, but the “righteous falls seven times and rise again” (Proverbs 24:16.)

Remember, You are love and you are loved!



Faith vs Desperation

“I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘may you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.” Mark 11:23 (NLT)

Hey beloved! I don’t know about you, but I have experienced several moments of desperation in my life. There have been times where I have desperately asked God to get me over an ex, or a hangover, and then going back to both a few months after I’ve gotten over the pain, or the hurt that was brought on by the unpleasant experience. One thing I have learned about desperation is that it resides within the boundaries of our emotions. Desperation stems from worry and anxiety; both of which God speaks against in the Bible (see Phillippians 4:6-7). It’s easy to confuse faith with desperation as they both look similar in the beginning, but there is a clear distinction between the two. As a matter of fact, the only similar comparison between faith and desperation is that the will of God always prevails in the end. There are two biblical characters that come to mind when I think of faith and desperation, one being Hannah and the other being Saul. First lets talk about Hannah!


While some might view Hanna’s plea for a child as desperation, I beg to differ. As I previously mentioned, faith and desperation are identical at face value. We don’t see the difference until we see the fruit. After Hanna’s tearful plea for a child, she wiped her eyes, gave thanks, and went on about her life. The Bible tells us that “she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad.” 1st Samuel 1:18. See, faith produces trust, patience, and an understanding that God will do what he says he will do.


In 1st Samuel chapter 13, God instructed Saul to wait for Samuel at Gilgal for seven days, and after seven days Samuel would offer a sacrifices to God (for successful battle over the Phillistine army). After seven days Saul became desperate, Samuel didn’t come through. Saul became anxious and afraid, his men were dying. Out of desperation Saul performed the sacrifice himself, and then lo and behold, “just as Saul was finishing with the burnt offering, Samuel arrived” 1st Samuel 13:10. Yikes! you see, desperation produces anxiety, worry, and impatience. We take matters into our own hands when we are desperate, and in turn we suffer the consequences of being disobedient.

From my own personal experience, and the experience of others; desperation creates animosity between man and God. We become upset and belligerent when He doesn’t come through when he said he would, we become discouraged when he doesn’t immediately adhere to our dire needs. I see this mostly during times of sickness, and emotional distress. We want God to take away our anger, frustration, diseases, depression, ect. . because these things cause us great pain, and what kind of God will allow his children to go threw such pain? My limited understanding is God is good, and everything he does is good. In him there is no darkness or evil. We (his people) on the other hand, live in a fallen world. The world we live in has been tainted with darkness and evil of every kind. So yes, there will be sickness, disease, death, depression, anxiety, and so much more, but we must always hold on to the promises of God with faith. We should develop the attitude of “God let your will be done,” and then stand by His word.

Lastly, God’s promises for us is YES and Amen! you don’t have to beg for what is already yours!

yours truly,


The Autism Rights Movement

Hey Ya’ll!!

I know I said I was back last time and then disappeared for another month lol, but with school work and planning a wedding (yay!!) things have been pretty hectic to say the least. Anyways, I wanted to dedicate this post to a social change movement that I am currently passionate about. As some of you may know, or not know, I am a Registered behavioral therapist working within the field of Applied Behavioral Analysis. I absolutely love what I do and the population I work with. I work with individuals diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and if you have ever met anyone with Autism you probably know how it feels to be showered with unconditional love and utter bliss (sometimes!) to be honest, sometimes its quite the contrary. My point is, this population has a lot to offer! and as a community we must give them a chance to express themselves as who they are! while this post might be a little longer than most, I want to open the forum up for discussion! This post talks about what the Autism Rights Movement is, racial and ethnic disparities within the diagnosis, the role of psychologist in terms of educating society and advancing the movement, and future works that we as a community can do to be better advocates or supporters for those with Autism.

The Autism Rights Movement

The Autism Rights movement is a movement developed by autistic adults advocating for neurodiversity. Welin and Jaarsma (2011) define the concept of neurodiversity as an atypical neurological development within the spectrum of human differences (Welin& Jaarsma,2011). Moving forward,  the primary goal of the movement is to change the narrative of what it means to be autistic. These individuals want their counterparts to stop labeling autism as a disorder to be cured, but a lifestyle that needs to be accepted. The group compare themselves to the gay-rights movement and the black lives matter movement, stating that they too deserve equal treaments and employment opportunites (Somashekhar,2015). Individuals among the Autism Rights Movement consider themselves a minority group, demanding justice and inclusion from neurotypical people.  Lastly, these individuals are not ignorant to the fact that the autism spectrum involves individuals who range from severely impaired to mildly impaired, they want to be taught how to independently manage their lives without changing the core components of who they are. 

Disparity in diagnoses of Autism

While the focus of this blog is the Autism Rights Movement, I also want to make sure that I discuss the disparity within the diagnosis. As a young and educated black woman, I want to ensure that I speak on social injustice that plagues the black community. One that speaks volumes to me is the disparity within the diagnoses. Individuals with Autism are found in varying demographics, they are found in all cultures, socioeconomic status, race, and ethnicity. However, there is little data on the “ethnic breakdown of children within this disability category (Morrier, Hess, & Heflin,2008). For this social change blog assignment,  I would like to give special attention to the ethnic inequalities in the diagnosis and treatment of Autism Spectrum Disorder, particularly honing in on the African-American and latino community. Individuals diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder are a disadvantaged minority within the community; they are prone to bullying, unfair treatments, discrimination, and etc. . . With that being said, it is unfortunate that this disparity is doubled for individuals who are disadvantaged based on socioeconomic status, color, race, culture, gender, etc. Recent studies have “identified racial disparities in access to general medical services for children with ASD” (Fitzpatrick & Kind,2017). The same study mentions that African-American children are more likely to receive another diagnosis such as emotional disturbance before receiving an ASD diagnosis. Further black children are diagnosed with  ASD 1.5 years later than their European counterparts (average age for diagnosis is between 2- 4).FitzPatrick and Kind (2017) also mention that Inequalities also exist in the “availability of and access to ASD treatment services” (Fitzpatrick &Kind,2017). Research has shown that early intervention is imperative in helping a child with autism live a normal life by improving the child’s overall development. 

The role of psychology

The role of psychology for policy change would be to first acknowledge that there is a problem. As psychologist our role is to bring awareness to inequalities and develop a solution to combat such disparity. Sadly this issue is not a popular subject as it pertains to the special needs community (minority) and the black/latino community (minority); fortunately, as per APA ethics code section 3: Human Relations, subset 3.01 Unfair discrimination:  psychologist follow a moral guidleine bounded by law that states psychologist must not engage in unfair discrimination based on race, gender, sex, SES, ethnicity, culture, national origin, or disability when dealing with clients. Psychology is essential to this policy change because we bring an unbiased perspective, and our mission is to shed light on areas darkened by social inequality and unfair treatments. We create written protocols, work in partnership with mental health practitioners, and do extensive research on how this subject is an issue and how it is affecting the community both on the micro and macro level. If nothing is done, more and more minority individuals with ASD will continue to fall through the cracks of society and end up living beneath their potential. The same concept applies to those on the spectrum at large

Theoretical framework

Functionalism or the functionalist perspective based on the work of Herbert Spencer, Emilie Durkheim, Talcott Parsons, and Robert Merton is a system that interconnects  each part of society to work in harmony and maintain a state of balance and equilibrium for the whole society (Mooney, Knox, and Schacht, 2007). For example, family, government, education, and religious institutions constitute of important functions for society. Family provides nurture, support, and offspring reproduction; government provides  means of governing the society, education, employment, and law; education offers knowledge and tools for individuals within the society to gain employment; and religious institutions provide moral guidance. On a macro level these structures help keep the society stable, if one structure fails the rest will go down also. For instance, let’s look at the government shut down that occurred earlier this year, many businesses laid of employees due to funding, families were left without money, schools were running on limited aid to support teachers and students, and society as a whole was unstable. 

In the case of the Autism Rights Movement, neurodiversity will allow these individuals to grow into tax paying adults capable of producing a stable economy. Also, there will be a significant decrease in the amount of funding taxpayers pay to group homes, or the disbaled community. That money will go to people who truly depend on it, I have worked in a group home with high functioning adults that were capable of working and becoming prominent members within the community. Unfortunately, lack of independence and resources keep these individuals confined in a home/environment they do not belong in. We fear accepting the culture might lead to instability within the society, but I beg to differ. I believe it would make us stronger as a system, because unity and inclusion has never destroyed a nation.

Conclusion/ Future work

The Autism Rights Movement has gained some attention in the media amongst bloggers, social activist, and autistic individuals who have prevailed in television and the workforce. People such as Anthony Hopkins (actor) Courtney Love (Singer) Woody Allen  (writer, director, and actor), Hayley Moss (attorney) and so many more. With the rise of people on the spectrum advancing within the society and overcoming obstacles autism is taking on a new meaning, and it’s no longer something to be ashamed of, but a strength to be proud of. Also, autism awareness month has led to many individuals on the spectrum  speaking out about their condition without shame; hence, why we now see the Autism Rights Movement on the rise. Further, Television shows such as the good doctor, The Big Bang Theory, and sesame street are paving the way to neurodiversity. With that being said, we still have some work to do; we have to go beyond filters and social media and truly take a stance on inclusion. For parents this means teaching your children how to appropriately respond to peers with autism, we have to teach them to be kind and accepting of their classmates that may be a little different; this is where it all begins. The trajectory of their lives begins in grade school and how they were treated by their peers. As adults we cannot shy away from working with individuals with autism or hiring them in our companies. With that being said, we still have some work to do; we have to go beyond filters and social media and truly take a stance on inclusion. For parents this means teaching your children how to appropriately respond to peers with autism, we have to teach them to be kind and accepting of their classmates that may be a little different; this is where it all begins. The trajectory of their lives begins in grade school and how they were treated by their peers. As adults we cannot shy away from working with individuals with autism or hiring them in our companies. 

I hope this was informative as well as it was thought provoking, To make a difference, screenshot the symbol and posit it on your social media page with the hashtag #IamforNeurodiversity

With love,


I’m back!

Hey ya’ll!

So I know I’ve sort of disappeared for a couple months, but I’m back!! I am absoutely thrilled to be writing and sharing my thoughts with you all again. I have taken these past few months to reflect, and gain insight on my purpose. I needed to truly figure out what it was I was called to do. Sidenote: figuring out your Purpose is a life long journey. Never get too comfortable functioning in only one area of your talent or gifting. Once you’ve mastered one gifting, move on to the next. You can do ALL things through Christ. . . There are multiple levels of you that you have yet to reveal, you will be suprised by how much you can do when you stop limiting yourself.

With that being said, do I have all the answers? of course not! but I’m starting over from a place of understanding and deeper revelations. I’m not gonna lie though, the process was not easy. I dealt with laziness (propably the biggest factor), self-doubt, fear, and lack of creativity (another big one). Nonetheless, I am ever grateful for the people God has placed in my life during this season, I have never been more assured of my purpose, and capabilities as  I am today. I give this credit to the amazing people who push me daily and see the greatness in me that I have failed to see within myself.  I can’t forget to mention how GOOOD God has been! whew chile, the goodness of God has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I am not merely an observer of his mercy, grace,and love, I am a living testimony of it; but, I’ll save all that for another time. In the mean time, check out my podcast titled HisBeloved on apple podcast, google podcast, or any podcast listening devices. Make sure to like, rate, subscribe and leave a review if you want. It’s all appreciated!

Until next time,

Remeber that you are Love and you are Loved!



Reflections of 2018

whew!! that’s done, are yall alright? what a year! if I could sum up my experience of 2018 in one word it would be, bruhhhhhhhh lol. 2018 challenged me in so many ways, it groomed me into becoming. . .  yeah. . .  BECOMING! I don’t know exactly what that means for me today, but I know that I am not the same person today as  I was entering 2018. At the beginning of 2018, I was just getting over a four-year relationship, moving into my own apartment, starting a new job, and beginning a masters program in clinical psychology. How I managed to stay afloat is only by the grace of God. I battled with chronic sadness and had plenty of moments where I felt isolated from the world. My thoughts led me astray, fear and doubt gripped me and I could not shake them off. Have you ever heard the term “if you can’t beat them, join them?” yeah, that was my experience. I avoided many places and people out of fear, I dealt with extreme trust issues. At that point, I was just done with life.  I knew it was time for a drastic change when the thought of suicide crept into my mind. It was at that point where I asked God to intervene, I began to cast down all imaginations and thoughts that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God (2nd Corinthians 10:5). Looking back at it now, there was no basis to those fears, just shadows! I won’t lie to you though, this process was not easy, it was a battle. BUT GOD. He came through for a sistah! and I am so thankful, His grace is and was sufficient. as for 2019. . .  I’M READY! I know that God will do infinitely more than I might ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). I pray that 2019, blesses you and grants you all your heart’s desire.


Yours in love,

His Beloved



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we are bombarded with distractions daily! A distraction is anything that prevents you from giving full attention to something else (whatever something else means for you). Distractions come in all shapes and forms; in this blog series, I want to discuss distraction in the form of comparison. Someone once said that comparison is the thief of joy, this is so true! And there is nothing more socially dangerous than a sad distracted person. This kind of person is always negative! always complaining! Never content! This is the kind of person known as a hater! If you are currently a hater, I just want you to know that You cannot reap what you did not sow. Most importantly, what God has for you is for you, no matter how hard someone tries to replicate your work, they will not and cannot produce the same type of fruit. An apple cannot grow from a banana tree, it’s impossible!   We are often distracted from our purpose by assuming that we can yield the same results as others who are successfully reaping and flourishing in our desired field (or the field we assume we should be functioning in). When we pursue things solemnly on the benefits or how appealing it looks to the eyes, we are feeding into the system that all that shines is gold. One thing I have learned thus far in life is that ALL THAT SHINES IS NOT GOLD! You do not want anything that you will end up regretting or blaming God for.

Ways to avoid the comparison trap

  1. Seek out your purpose

What do you like? What brings you joy? What are you skilled at? Ponder upon these questions and devote yourself to well… yourself!

  1. Compliment! Compliment! Compliment!

The more you compliment others, the less you hate on them, I mean when you hate on someone it means you think they are better than you. So, complimenting them channels your negative energy into a more positive one.

  1. Be grateful

If need be, make more downward social comparisons. A downward social comparison is a psychological construct that means comparing yourself to others who are worse off than you (when psychology is obvious). When you do this, you are more appreciative of where you are in life and feel better about yourself.


Comparing yourself to others is a useless distraction, it produces no fruit. Well, it produces bad fruit. Don’t delay your blessing, free yourself from the distraction of comparison.


May the peace and love of God dwell richly in your hearts.

With love,






what do you think of when you hear the word single? sad? depressed? lonely? Being single in today’s society is like, living life with no hope, no joy, no future; basically if you’re single, you have an issue! so I’m newly single, and no I’m not sad, depressed, lonely, or whatever misconceptions are associated with being single. But, I was not always like this, I had moments of sadness, and loneliness, but thank GOD for God! After times of prayers and heartfelt communication with Jesus and family members, I came to the realization that I just had to do me. instead of wallowing in misery I used this opportunity to get to know myself and to evaluate the kind of person I was in the relationship. After a breakup, it’s so easy to put the blame on the other person, because we fail to introspect. There are always two sides to a story, use this time to perfect your craft (you!). moving forward,  have you ever heard the saying that drunks and angry people speak the most truth? this is the truth! LISTEN TO EVERY WORD THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR PARTNERS MOUTH! instead of getting upset over their anger rampage, Take Notes! use their negative words as a stepping stone for growth. listen! the sweet things that people tell you about you are nice and all, but it doesn’t really change your life. if you need somebody to tell you the real raw “truth” (I use the word truth very lightly) about yourself ask an enemy or an ex-lover. boy oh boy! the things you will learn about yourself! Lastly, while getting used to this journey of singleness, I want to share with you all the tips that I have acquired along the way. . .

  •  Don’t be too single

being single is good once you know that it’s just for a period. You have to take what is yours by faith. While you are single always remember the aim is to get married.

  • Don’t be desperate

Being single is not the time to fulfill your sexual desires, use this time to purify your mind, body, and soul before the Lord.

  • Pray while you’re prey (Toni Lashaun)

stay in constant communication with God concerning your life, and your future. Don’t just pray for God to bless you with a spouse, pray that God makes you a great woman/man for your spouse.

  • live your best life

Do you! (whatever that means for you) enjoy life, go out with friends, spend time with family. Life is a gift, and we must cherish it every single day! whether single, dating or married. We only have but a moment on this earth.

  • Be happy for others

Be genuinely happy for people who are getting engaged, married or having babies! DO NOT let jealousy come over you, rebuke it immediately! God can not bless you in this manner, it’s evil and disgusting!

well, folks, that’s all! I pray that God blesses you with all of your hearts desires.

with love

Temilola, HisBeloved


Identity Revealed

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In the African community, most often our parents imposed on us the kind of careers we must have, the type of man/woman we are to marry and even the kind of house we are to live in, all before we graduate high school. I’m sure many other races deal with these issues as well, but I can only speak for myself on this matter. I titled this piece identity revealed because knowing who you are, requires you to dig beyond the surface. Here is my definition of identity broken down. . .

I= you/me

Dent= a substance, or something having weight

Ty= something of quality

So all together the definition of Identity is THE QUALITY OF THE SUBSTANCE WITHIN YOU

As you can see, this definition differs from the dictionaries definition, the dictionaries definition speaks of identity as a sameness of character/person in all situations, which is true, but this definition requires you to dig a bit deeper, WHAT IS THE SUBSTANCE WITHIN YOU? CAN YOU IDENTIFY WITH IT? there is a bible verse that says, “the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world” 1 John 4:4. If I cannot identify with this spirit, then how can I overcome the world? The truth is, I can’t! what’s going to happen is, the world will give me a counterfeit spirit to identify with. This is emotional, sensitive, clingy, ugly, friendly, lazy, fearful, shy. The importance of knowing the substance within you is to not accept what the world has to offer. Some people who are diagnosed with mental illness such as depression stay in that depressed state because they have accepted the fact that they are depressed! let me tell you,, you are not who the world says you are! you do not have anger issues, you are not irrational, you are not sensitive, you are not annoying, you are not controlling, you are not ugly, you are not easy,  you are not timid! my dear, you ARE  a work in progress!! accept God’s version of you. You are worthy! You are beautiful! you are strong! you have power! you are loved! You are Wonderful! You are wanted! You have self-control! You are appreciated! You are special! You are unique! You are who Christ says you are, your identity is found in him and him alone, you are because HE is. I feel so liberated writing this piece, because it alleviates so much pressure off my shoulders. I am no longer compelled to designing my character to fit other people’s expectations of me. My identity is not dependent on the opinions of others, I’ve realized that the more others tell you who you are, the more you start behaving in that manner. And as soon as you decide to do you, you are all of a sudden changing or being fake!  As long as you are not blatantly disrespecting anybody, DO You! Be a God pleaser! It’s not fair to be pleasing everybody else except the one who deserves the pleasing! Get to know God, and you will get to know You!

with Love

Temilola, HisBeloved


For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ ~ Galatians 1:10






The definition of identity is described as “sameness of essential or generic character in different instances” meaning…. Being the same person everywhere you go, with everyone you meet and in all situations. Today, everyone claims to be real, but what really is real? ….Real is defined in the dictionary as a “substance or thing that is not an imitation or artificial.” So, let’s talk about realness and identity, to be real, your identity or your character must be genuine; not an ideology of whom you desire yourself to be. Most times we are so caught up on social media and comparing ourselves to others that in a way we create an image for ourselves that resembles what we think others might want to see or an identity that fits into this worlds image. We get lost in the world of fashion, trends, fitness, makeup, religion! That deep down we truly do not know who we are! Our identities are no longer our own but that of the worlds, its like we all sold our souls to this imaginary god of approval. and in exchange, it controls our primary decisions, such as what we should wear, how we should walk, talk, eat, who we should hang with, what we should watch, who we should date, how our relationships should be. The list goes on and on, only for us to still have the attitude of the grass being greener on the other side.  and deep down all we want is for someone to really notice us, to notice our true self, the one that so desperately yearns for love unconditionally. The truth is we are all flawed, every single one of us and we mask those flaws by seeking acceptance from others who are flawed in a different way than we are. For example, I would much rather have a flaw in my attitude than my physical features, you know what i mean?? it seems like the average looking chicks with a good attitude, and a fear of God are chose last or kept on a back burner for future references. We are the type of chicks that dudes would love to marry but somehow, we can never get them to commit. Instead, they run after the girls who know how to edit and filter a pic. Those girls with long beachy hair and nice thick curves, that wears enough makeup to make it seem like they’re not wearing any make-up (like yooo!!) and wear outfits that would make you think twice about your whole wardrobe. Yup! Those girls that would kill an average chicks self-esteem in a second. Fortunately, all that shines is not gold, these girls are just as flawed as I am, they have daddy issues, anxiety, depression, issues with self-worth, and so much more. So, you see, we are all hurting, damaged, and terrified, but how do we express these attitudes to a world that suppresses such emotions as attention-seeking or needy? The truth is, we don’t. Instead, we deal with these issues by using drugs and having sex or idealizing others who “seem” to have it all together. Sadly, this is the only output the world gives us. We don’t get to complain, we don’t get to voice our opinions, we don’t get to express our innate desires, because doing so would only mean that I am “trying” to be different. So here… smoke a blunt have some sex and chill out! And if you’re religious, say a prayer and read some scripture. Everyone’s got issues, what makes you so different?!

In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity ~ Erik Erikson

with sincere love

Temilola, HisBeloved

I love because He first loved me~ 1 John 4:19