whew!! that’s done, are yall alright? what a year! if I could sum up my experience of 2018 in one word it would be, bruhhhhhhhh lol. 2018 challenged me in so many ways, it groomed me into becoming. . .  yeah. . .  BECOMING! I don’t know exactly what that means for me today, but I know that I am not the same person today as  I was entering 2018. At the beginning of 2018, I was just getting over a four-year relationship, moving into my own apartment, starting a new job, and beginning a masters program in clinical psychology. How I managed to stay afloat is only by the grace of God. I battled with chronic sadness and had plenty of moments where I felt isolated from the world. My thoughts led me astray, fear and doubt gripped me and I could not shake them off. Have you ever heard the term “if you can’t beat them, join them?” yeah, that was my experience. I avoided many places and people out of fear, I dealt with extreme trust issues. At that point, I was just done with life.  I knew it was time for a drastic change when the thought of suicide crept into my mind. It was at that point where I asked God to intervene, I began to cast down all imaginations and thoughts that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God (2nd Corinthians 10:5). Looking back at it now, there was no basis to those fears, just shadows! I won’t lie to you though, this process was not easy, it was a battle. BUT GOD. He came through for a sistah! and I am so thankful, His grace is and was sufficient. as for 2019. . .  I’M READY! I know that God will do infinitely more than I might ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). I pray that 2019, blesses you and grants you all your heart’s desire.

Yours in love,

His Beloved

we are bombarded with distractions daily! A distraction is anything that prevents you from giving full attention to something else (whatever something else means for you). Distractions come in all shapes and forms; in this blog series, I want to discuss distraction in the form of comparison. Someone once said that comparison is the thief of joy, this is so true! And there is nothing more socially dangerous than a sad distracted person. This kind of person is always negative! always complaining! Never content! This is the kind of person known as a hater! If you are currently a hater, I just want you to know that You cannot reap what you did not sow. Most importantly, what God has for you is for you, no matter how hard someone tries to replicate your work, they will not and cannot produce the same type of fruit. An apple cannot grow from a banana tree, it’s impossible!   We are often distracted from our purpose by assuming that we can yield the same results as others who are successfully reaping and flourishing in our desired field (or the field we assume we should be functioning in). When we pursue things solemnly on the benefits or how appealing it looks to the eyes, we are feeding into the system that all that shines is gold. One thing I have learned thus far in life is that ALL THAT SHINES IS NOT GOLD! You do not want anything that you will end up regretting or blaming God for.

Ways to avoid the comparison trap

1. Seek out your purpose

What do you like? What brings you joy? What are you skilled at? Ponder upon these questions and devote yourself to well… yourself!

2. Compliment! Compliment! Compliment!

The more you compliment others, the less you hate on them, I mean when you hate on someone it means you think they are better than you. So, complimenting them channels your negative energy into a more positive one.

3. Be grateful

If need be, make more downward social comparisons. A downward social comparison is a psychological construct that means comparing yourself to others who are worse off than you (when psychology is obvious). When you do this, you are more appreciative of where you are in life and feel better about yourself.

Comparing yourself to others is a useless distraction, it produces no fruit. Well, it produces bad fruit. Don’t delay your blessing, free yourself from the distraction of comparison.

May the peace and love of God dwell richly in your hearts.

With love,

HisBeloved